Newborn fog

Right, the newborn fog. It’s been on my mind ever since I came out of it after Lara’s birth (about 9 months later!!!). I didn’t have a name for that state of being, until I read the term “newborn fog” in another mom’s blog. It totally covers everything. Looking back I noticed that, though I did enjoy my little baby girl in those first 9 months, I hadn’t felt great myself. Everything had been focussed on my baby and I’d forgotten about myself. I had a hard time to get my own thoughts and feelings in line, so they kind of cluttered up in my head. Taking care of Lara took most of my “free time” and her coming into our lives just changed everything. After about 9 months I kind of woke up and had a huge craving for taking up a new hobby and for expressing myself. That’s when I started blogging.
But ever since then I’ve been thinking about how to prevent this when a new baby would come. I guess a bit of a fog is good to get attached to my baby, but I feel the newborn fog I experienced with Lara is a bit too much.
After musing over it in the past weeks I feel that some solutions are sinking in. I know that I’ll have to be a bit more relaxed on the new baby’s schedule (sleeping and eating) and a bit more strict on my own schedule (to prevent myself from crashing on the couch whenever I get the chance; that doesn’t give me the satisfaction I need by the end of the day and will only make me feel more tired). Fortunately Lara will also force me to stay active.
I think I’ll also be able to be more confident in certain things. With Lara we’ve experienced that our way of feeding, bathing, getting her to sleep and so on work well, so we don’t have to figure that out again.
And another big thing is that in Lara’s first year we’ve done about 8 trips to my family-in-law in Germany. My husband Marc had lost contact with them for more than 10 years, so since the contact had just been renewed we invested a lot of time in it. But now we notice that it’s good to take a step back and slow down on the contact a bit (several reasons). For me those trips have certainly been too much. I am very glad we don’t have to do that anymore. It has been quite an influence on my newborn fog, draining energy and happiness from me (especially since I am a so called “pleaser”).

Anyway, I’ll keep musing about this newborn fog. So maybe I’ll be back on this later.

Remembering good old times - GMA week 2008

It’s been 6 years ago since I visited GMA week for the last time and I still miss it every year… It’s crazy, but I really do miss it, even though I’m not in “the business” anymore. I figure it has to do with more than just “business”.
For me it’s the whole vibe. The excitement of this whole week filled with new music, new artists, showcases, awards-shows and interesting talks with colleagues from the Dutch and international CCM-business.
I liked the first view on the skyline of Nashville I got from the cab, the classy ambience of staying at the Nashville Renaissance Hotel (way too expensive, but so easy!), the always cheerful greeting of the lady at the Bridge Deli (good morning darling, how are you today? What can I get you?), eating BBQ at Jack’s BBQ near the Ryman Auditorium, visiting the local Christian bookstore, meeting new people and meeting old friends. Ooohhh… the list is endless.
The last time I visited I discovered the gorgeous library they build downtown; wow! That’s what I call a library!

And yes, I know some things were tacky, fake and lots of blabla; the mingling, the smooching. But my job didn’t require heavy mingling and smooching, so I was just an observer enjoying the good things!

Yeah, I really miss it. Wish I could do it again, but on the other hand I just know that it’s not going to happen anymore. My life has changed, I’m not in the business anymore, I don’t have the money to fly over and stay there.

Anyway, life goes on, but these few days I let my thoughts drift off to downtown Nashville every now and then… Good old times…

(for everyone who is present at GMA week; enjoy!)

Cooking and gardening

Funny to notice that there are more people like me; intensely busy with home cooking and gardening. I love to read your blogs and to learn from your experiences. And to get inspired to do more with my own cooking and gardening. I hope we all can cook our own grown stuff later this year! Way to go Jen Carr, Jen Curtis, Jen Gordon and Kara! Keep blogging…

I even found out my sister is getting her hands dirty this year; her husband always kept their garden, but since he’s doing evening classes this year, my sister picked it up. Whoaaa; my parents are laughing their ass off; we’ve never interested ourselves for the garden they kept and now we’re into it ourselves up till our elbows!

By the way, I bought some great pepper-seeds last weekend.

And a tip; the latest book by Jamie Oliver (Jamie at home) and the TV series that belong to it are awesome and very inspiring when it comes to growing and cooking food yourself!

100% Dutch girl

My mother bought Lara her first wooden shoes (klompen) today!!! She needs to walk a bit better before she can wear them. But I’m sure she’ll soon use ‘em very often; when the weather is good she can easily learn to put them on and to go outside to play in the backyard. I can hardly wait…

For now just a picture of the wooden shoes; brand new and waiting to be used!

Lara can walk!!!

Yeah, earlier today I still wished Lara would start walking by herself and she just did! We’re so proud!!! I’ve read blogs and messages from several parents about those first steps, but now I totally understand why they’re so proud! I feel it…

And Lara is very proud of herself too:

Garden weather!

Yes, yesterday was a wonderful day, weather wise… Fortunately I was off from work in the afternoon, so I’ve totally enjoyed the lovely weather. I had already made some kind of a plan for my little veggie garden. And yesterday I made a big step forward into that plan; removed some weeds and already planted half of the garden. If everything starts growing according to plan, in July I can harvest the first onions, rocket, beans, carrots and Tiny Tom tomatoes. By the end of April I’ll plant some more tomatoes, peppers (if I can find nice plants), endive, salad, sweet corn, beets and runner beans.
And of course I’m still working on a herb-garden; basil, parsley, chives and rosemary are in the ground. I’m still searching for thyme, sage and mint. Somehow these herbs don’t like growing in my surroundings. Whether I plant ‘em in the cold ground, in a pot outside or in the windowsill; so far only the chives survive and grow well. I think the rosemary will do well too, because that’s a very tough kind of plant. Anyway, we’ll see.
I still think it’s exciting to put stuff into the ground and see it grow. And harvesting is even more exciting! Can’t wait…

Lara also enjoyed some time outside; she still can’t walk alone, but Marc took her out for a walk on her three-wheel-bike. She loved it! When they came back after half an hour she went inside, drank some juice and asked us for another round on the bike. Perfect! That gave me enough time to finish up my gardening and to cook dinner; when she’s around she often asks my attention and wants me to pick her up.
I really can’t wait for her to start walking alone; we’ll get her some tiny wooden shoes, so she can go out into the garden by herself (easy to put on and off!). We’re planning to get her a sandbox; that will give her lots of fun while playing outside. Yeah, it’ll be fun!