Fall Art

This morning the weather was so awesome; nice sunshine, a little wind. We took advantage of it and went out. Lara, Mika and I took a walk around the block, which normally takes just 10 minutes, but with the kids it takes an hour. We watched the ferry, raced down the dike, fed the ducks and collected fall leaves. I love all those warm colours; red, orange, brown, yellow and a little bit green. Lara likes picking up all those leaves too, so we had fun…
Coming home I decided to get a bit creative with those leaves; Lara and I glued them on coloured paper and thought about the people we could send such a nice piece of fall-art. Mika just climbed on the chair and table and kept taking the glue from me… :-)

This is the result:

Quick update

Hmm, it seems to be all about decorating cakes lately. Well, it is a fun hobby, so I am pretty busy with it. This is the latest (again an order from our neighbor):

It's "Woezel en Pip"; a childbook-thing from Holland. I got to use a few new techniques and it was a big one, so I'm proud of the result (and happy with the payment!).

What else is going on? The kids are doing well. Most of the time they're fun, sometimes I wish for ducktape or another solution to quiet them so I have my rest. Fortunately everyday comes with something like "bedtime". Applause for the one who invented that! :-)
Marc is doing ok. Still in therapy to get his mind under control (hyperventilation, anxiety-attacks and a heavy youth). We have to take this all day by day.
Marc also joined a poker-competion nearby. I decided to use the nights he'll be from home for this in the coming months to read. Get the kids to bed, settle on the couch with a good book, something to eat and drink and some nice music in the background. I don't want to spend those nights ending up hanging in front of the TV, watching crap like Popstars. So far I've had 2 of those nights and I enjoyed both of them. I started with reading "The boy in the striped pyjama", a beautiful story! Last Friday I started re-reading "Left Luggage", a nice story as well. I can totally recommend this; leave your TV off for a night and dig into a nice book!

Another thing that keeps me busy is cooking and baking. I've done some things with the fall-produce, like wallnuts, pears and pumpkin. I have a whole bunch of muffins, breads and soups in the freezer. Yum! Especially since reading Jamie Oliver's Jamie at Home I'm fan of cooking with season-veggies and fruits. The tastes and prices of stuff that's in season is so much better! And I like to work "project-based". Right now it's the tastes of the fall, in a couple of months we move on to winter-tastes.

So, that's what's going on with this Dutch mommy. Lots. Enough.

My first cake-order

Last weekend I delivered my first official cake-order. It was a 3D Cars-cake for our neighbour Tijmen, who turned 3 last Friday.
He loved it! First thing he said when we arrived at his party was "We're eating cake! Cars-cake!!!".



It was quite exciting to make this cake; so many things that could go wrong, but everything went perfect!
It was filled with vanilla cream and apricot marmelade.



(And it's been a good practice for Marc's birthdaycake-wish; a F1 McLaren Mercedes-cake... )

Vacation time

What a difference it makes for me when I’m off from work. I’m in the middle of a two-week vacation. I love every minute of it and it shows again that the combination of working 32 hours plus kids, family, household, hobbies, etc is just crazy! Now I’m off from work I’m so much more relaxed and getting stuff done I usually hardly come to; washing the windows, cleaning the carpet, some garden maintenance. And everything done without stress, hurrying and the overall feeling of being behind with stuff. Yes, even playing with the kids is more relaxed, since there’s nothing that “has to be done right away”, like it usually is.
Yes, life is good during this vacation…

One year with Mika

My son turned 1 today. Going through his photo book lots of memories and feelings popped up. Time to write ‘em down…

Of course I remember his birth; intense and fast! Besides the pain it was just a very good labour. I have good memories about it.
I remember the feeling of deliverance (hence the name “delivery”; I get it now!) and relief when he was born; it was done and I had a boy!

I remember the joyous first week. The nurse who came for a week to help us out was awesome and totally gave me a relaxed first week. I loved every minute of it.
I remember the few nights when Mika slept between us in our bed, because he still had trouble sleeping in his own crib.

I remember the many times when Mika fell asleep on my tummy, clutching me like a little monkey.
I remember his long dark curls and the sweet moves he made when falling asleep in his playpen.


I remember the massages I gave him after his bath and the songs I sang to him during the massages; we both loved it!
I remember the joy of making his first solid baby foods. Since he liked everything and didn’t have cramps I could totally go crazy with recipes; he ate everything with taste!


This boy brings me so much joy; he loves to cuddle. He visually enjoys music and dances to it when he hears it. He’s a brave little boy, but when something is new he seeks shelter by his mommy, from where he’ll observe the new situation, before heading out again. I love it! He looks so familiar to me that looking at him often makes me feel like looking in a mirror. It’s all in his eyes!

Yeah, my baby has grown up to be a toddler. I’m wondering what the future will bring for this special boy of mine…

two more cakes decorated!

New decorated cakes

Still learning, but I've already grown better in decorating cakes. So far I made 3 cakes. Learned how to make the "biscuit"-kind of cake, I coloured my own fondant, got more skilled in filling and so on. It takes a lot of time, but it's fun!


(The purple heart was supposed to be red, but it's hard to get the fondant red-colored, so I made it purple.)


(Elmo-figures, to get skilled in making figures. Lara was deeply impressed!)

New hobby

Ok, this is my new hobby: baking and decorating cakes. I want to make the cake for Mika’s birthday myself (a Tiger-cake), so I started searching the internet for techniques and examples. Wow, I found a LOT of info and even more great examples… Last Saturday I bought some ingredients at a nearby bakery (icing and decorating fondant) and started experiencing. I didn’t have original food colouring, so I used red beets to get a pink colour. I definitely have to improve a few things, but I think the first result looks promising. It became a birthday present for my neighbour José, who turned 31 today!

I’ll show more pictures when I make new projects.

Visiting the inlaws

At Friday we’re leaving for a week at my sister-in-law in Germany. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I’m looking forward to it; it’s nice to be off from work and to spend more time with my husband and kids. On the other hand it takes another long drive up there (about 5 hours) and we’ll probably have to sleep with two kids in the same bedroom. And that kinda scares me. We did that two weeks ago for one night at my brother-in-law. Turned out that Lara slept with us in our bed and I hardly slept at all. The kids also wake up earlier than usual and want to come out of bed right away. At home they take their time to wake up and play around a little, but in an unfamiliar bed/bedroom they start screaming immediately. And what about getting them to sleep? I think we’ll have to put them to bed simultaneously, because otherwise one will wake up the other when getting to bed (which is never going to happen without making a sound).
And with 7 nights of bad sleep ahead of me I can’t speak of “looking forward to it” anymore. I don’t speak about “having a vacation” either. Even one night of bad sleep get’s me down really fast, let alone 7 nights! Sigh… I hate the fact that my in-laws live that far away and we can never just visit them for a couple of hours! It’s always these sleep-deprived, indoor camping kind of visits… Ugh.

Summer music

I’ve once blogged about music I associate with autumn. Well, of course I have more music which I’m associating with a certain season. All this music had it’s own personal history with me, memories build during past summers. My summer music highlights:
- Lara Fabian – A wonderful life
- Celine Dion – One heart en S’íl suffisait d’aimer
- Circadian Rhythm – Over under everything
- Cathy Burton – Burn out
- Sixpence none the richer – Sixpence none the richer (with Kiss me)
- Enrique Iglesias – Cosas del amor
- Plumb – Candycoatedwaterdrops
But the absolute topper is Burlap to Cashmere. Too bad this band fell apart, though it’s no wonder if you’ve ever experienced how chaotic these guys were offstage. On stage; perfectly timed and totally in control. But offstage… without their manager they’d still be scattered over the world, not being able to find their way home. If you can get hold of any of their 2 cd’s; go for it!

Random thoughts

I want to throw an American BBQ-party tomorrow and want to invite just anyone who fancies to come. I definitely have to set it up now and start inviting people...

We have fresh cherries, so I want to bake a nice sweet cherry bread; will be lovely for breakfast tomorrow…

I’m a pleaser, but every now and then pulling an action against rules and regulations to “show” that I’m not always nice and obedient. When I get caught I feel bad and guilty. Stupid me.

Living with a husband who suffers from mental tensions and anxieties is wearing me off. I often tiptoe to prevent him to get tense and frustrated. The cure is not at hand yet, it’s been going on and off for 2 ½ years now, when will it end? I have to take care of myself, otherwise I go down too. Stop tiptoeing, girl.

Facebook is nice. It’s the international version of Hyves. Helps me to keep up with what’s going on in the lives of old friends, living far away. Somehow it broadens my world.

I want to get our finances in a healthy status again. Marc is in this with me. We should be able to pull it off. Just be satisfied with what we have and stop wanting more, more, more. It’s dumb.

I’m kind of obsessed with growing and preparing food. A little frustrated about the lack of time for doing it. But trying out preparing (new) recipes or planting new stuff gives me enough satisfaction to forget the frustration. I would like to share more of the food I prepare, but am often too shy to offer it to people outside my little family.

Loads of fun

We’re doing loads of fun stuff with the kids lately. Although I loved them as a little cuddly baby, this stage of being a 2-year old en a toddler is cool too. On Saturday we set up the big inflatable swimmingpool in our backyard; it was a bit too cold for Mika, but Lara loved it. Our neighbourhood kids Britt (4), Thijmen (2) and Jurre (7 months) also came over for a swim and it was just fun! Jurre and Mika sat on the cushions in the shadow and the older kids made fun in the pool… I’m so glad we live in a neighbourhood with many children; it’s so good to see them play together; the older kids play nicely along with the younger ones and take care after each other.
Anyway, yesterday we wanted to go to the swimmingpool in Gouda, but it was a bit cloudy, so we postponed that, probably to today. But we did want to go out anyway, so we went to the Zoo in Rotterdam. Good choice! Mika didn’t get much of the animals, but he just sat quietly and satisfied in the stroller, looking at everything around him. But Lara finally got to see the real deal of elephants, giraffes, monkeys, rhinos, panda’s, zebra’s, penguins, little sharks, lobster, tons of fish and so on. Highly impressed… It’s so awesome to show your kids these kind of joys in life and to give them these simple experiences. We know it leaves memories, because Marc and I are also constantly sharing our memories on these things; “When was the last time I went to a zoo?”, “Did you swim in your backyard when you were a kid?”, “How much warm water did your mother add to the cold in the pool?”, “What trips did you make when you were a child?”… We are trying to give our kids the best memories on these things! So far we’re doing fine I think; going out as a family has so far always been nice, relaxed and fun. The kids don’t whine, aren’t impatient and we can enjoy it all. Marc and I are still amazed about that, but I think we have to start believing in our kids; they’re good, they’re sweet and they aren’t that hard to handle! Love them…

I should blog here more often

... but I've been kind of busy lately. And not really been having those "I have to blog about this"-moments. Still don't have it. So, I'm off again. My kids will wake up soon and my alone time will be over... And my carrot cake is almost defrosted, I have to make a grocerylist and get dressed. Have to get started with laundry. And I have to publish this blog to test if it will automatically appear on my Facebook. There are some of my blogs published on it, but I don't remember how I managed to do that... It's quite a job to keep up with Hyves, MySpace, Blogger and Facebook. I'll have to let MySpace go; haven't been active there since months and most of the contacts on MySpace will be found on Facebook as well... Hyves is for my Dutch contacts, Blogger for venting my toughts, Facebook for the international contacts...
Yeah, I have to go now. (You just waisted a minute or two on reading my not so interesting toughts of the moment... Too bad!)

London, baby!

At May 7th it’s been five years ago that Marc and I got married. Last Monday we’d just agreed on going out for dinner and a movie to celebrate it. Until Tuesday morning when I read my friend Jennifer’s blog in which she referred to the upcoming European tour of Third Day (Christian rock band). Her husband David is their drummer. (Check out their website at www.thirdday.com )
I met David (and later Jennifer) when Third Day came to Holland for the first time in 1994 (or was it 1995?). I was involved with a lot of the concerts that where organised after that first, with Third Day. And so got to know the band quite well. Marc also got to know them when they stayed with a mutual friend of ours here in Holland. From 1999 to 2002 I visited David and Jennifer 4 times and we became friends for life. Even though we don’t see each other regularly or even have much contact; they’re close to my heart…
Thanks to weblogs we kind of keep in touch with what’s going on in each others life…

But anyway, back to the upcoming European tour; they play in several countries, but only one full concert. Which is in London at June 3rd. I thought about it for a couple of hours and then came up with the idea of making that our “anniversary-trip”. Yes, a bit bigger and more expensive than “dinner and a movie”, but an opportunity I don’t want to miss. Marc also thought it’s a great idea, so we started organising… In one day we achieved to:
- me getting off from work for 2 days (thanks to my superior!)
- finding my sister very excited about taking care of Lara and Mika for those days
- booking flight tickets, a hotel and concert tickets
We can’t wait!

And today Jennifer emailed me telling she’s trying to come over to London too!!! How fantastic will that be; we haven’t seen each other for 7 years now!

Man, we’re excited…

Lara's world politics

We are convinced that Lara can rule the world with the three basics she’s practicing lately:

1. If we’re out of something, she says “We have to buy a new one” (whether it’s candy, diapers or homemade soup, when we’re out of it we can just buy new)
2. If something doesn’t work anymore, she says “We have to put new batteries in it” (whether it’s a lamp, a wooden toy or a giant windmill, just put new batteries in it and it will work again)
3. If something isn’t here, she says “We have to wait a little bit until it comes” (whether it’s the moon, her grandma or a penguin, just wait and it will come)

Easypeasy! World politics…



Today we put the back seat on the bicycle; it’s an old fashioned corb-seat. I love it!

My favourite silence

Mika has been having some trouble again sleeping through the night. We try to give him some time to get back to sleep again by himself, before we go into his room. But the past two nights that didn’t work and I had to get up to give him a little bottle of milk. After that he often goes to sleep again in two minutes. And the silence that follows is momentarily my favourite…

What’s your favourite silence?

RESPECT

Today I was listening to the first cd of Mark Schultz in the car. The third song on that cd is “He’s my son” and though I’ve heard that song dozens of times, this time it struck me again. It’s about a parent calling out to God about her son who’s suffering from cancer:

“Each night as he sleeps, she goes in to hold his hand. And she tries not to cry, as the tears fill her eyes.
Can you hear me? Am I getting through tonight? Can you see him? Can you make him feel all right? If you can hear me, let me take his place somehow.
See, he’s just not anyone: he’s my son!”

I could see myself sitting next to Mika’s bed, holding his hand, trying to not cry. And I begged God not to test me with something as horrible as a deadly sick child. I don’t know if I could bear that. Although I believe He’d give me the strength to endure it.
It also turned my thoughts to the real meaning of Easter; to God the Father going through this pain as His Son suffered for mankind on the cross… Deep thoughts…

It left me with deep RESPECT to parents who have a deadly sick child…

(By the way: the kid in this song has survived the cancer...)

Enjoying my kids

We´re at my brother- and sister-in-law this week. Which means I´m spending a lot of time with my kiddies. When we´re at home we´re all more busy doing our own stuff, but staying at someone elses house makes us spend more close time together. And though I love being in my own house, I love the intimate time I´m spending with the kids. I notice more details and have more time to put into them. These are the things I´ve enjoyed so far:

* Mika is putting his tongue between his lips when he´s having fun. It´s so funny and cute!
* I´ve build a big tower of LEGO blocks with Lara on my lap. We both love sitting on the floor like that and being busy building something together.
* I´ve got to watch Mika sleep in the car: with his little cuddle up in his face and sucking his teeny tiny thumb. It makes me cry, moves me to tears: I find it the cutest thing in the world, to see my kids with their own cuddle and sleep.
* To keep Lara from walking from the table while we were still eating, I sang her a song. By the time the song was ended everyone was listening to me, but Lara enjoyed it most and hummed along. I love my little girl humming, singing and dancing!

These kind of things makes me endure being away from home and away from my own stuff and schedule. Without that I wouldn´t have experienced this all so intense!

Baby cuisine

I’m busy cooking lovely babyfood for Mika. I have this great idea of letting him get used to many different flavours in an early stage. The thing is that I fed Lara only simple things when she was a toddler, like carrots, cauliflower, beans, broccoli, potatoes and fruits. But now she hardly eats any veggies and doesn’t want to try new or different things. Part is due to Marc also being picky with food he doesn’t know. In that way he’s a bad example. So even hiding veggies in a pasta sauce isn’t an option; she doesn’t eat pasta or rice. Just potatoes…
But maybe, when I let Mika get used to different flavours he’ll eat interesting meals with me in the future. That means I don’t have to cook these things just for myself anymore…

So, this morning I prepared squash with mint; will only need a dollop of yoghurt and some cooked pasta. There’s also a pot with chilli con carne (without chilli; does it still count as chilli con carne then?!) in the oven for him. And I just pureed some apples with apricots; that is lovely!
I also have a recipe for a chicken stew tropical-way in mind, but I’ll try that tomorrow.

Yesterday I gave him some spaghetti with a home made tomato sauce (without salt & pepper); he loved every bite of it. And didn’t mind about the little pieces of spaghetti in it! I’m so proud of my little big boy…

Pre-fun

The plans are getting more real; I just ordered seeds for all the veggies and herbs I want to grow this year. I found a really good website were I could order online. They have tons and tons of different seeds. All with good descriptions about the plants and what to expect of the taste and looks of it. I picked from the eco/organic section first; leeks, pumpkin, spinach, basil, rocket. And then I went on with the other stuff: super sweetcorn, cherry tomatoes (wild ones in all kinds of colours), mint and sage.
And for the good looks I ordered sunflower seeds and lathyrus seeds. It’s gonna be fun…

(for your interest, this is where I ordered: http://www.vreeken.nl )

Plans

The fun thing about this season is that automatically I start planning my garden en cooking for the coming season. It’s too early to plant anything yet, even too early to buy seeds and plants. But the joy of planning is soaking me up already…

I decided to keep the little piece of garden I have simple this year; just cucumber, onions and pumpkin & squash. And I just came up with the idea of planting some white and red cabbage as well. But I think it’s ok to plant these after the cucumber is harvested. It will give the cabbages enough time to grow till winter-harvest time. I guess… Will have to find out the specifics about that!
The other stuff I’m planning will be sowed and planted in pots. Easier to maintain and will keep the snails away!

Last year I managed to plant rosemary and thyme in full ground and until today I can simply cut off the amount I need for cooking! Awesome. No more expensive little bits from the grocery store; just fresh from the garden! I want to try the same with sage this year. Basil, parsley and mint will still be my windowsill herbs this year… It’s hard to keep those outside in Dutch winter weather.

And with planning the things I want to grow I’m also planning the things I’m going to cook from it. Pumpkin, squash, cabbage and sage aren’t veggies and herbs I often use in my kitchen. Marc is the “things I don’t know, I don’t eat” type, so I have to come up with something really good to get him to eat it. I like trying out new food, but often notice that these experimental veggies are quite expensive in the store. But when growing them myself works out fine, it will only costs me a few euro’s for the seeds and some time for finding a yummy recipe. It will automatically bring me to my kitchen…

...

Heaven on Saturdaymorning

A well made cinnamon coffee with milkfoam and a slice of freshly baked bananabread... (thanks Jen, for the recipe you gave me about 9 years ago; I substituted 1 cup of flour for whole wheat flour, but the rest is still originally yours!)

Our joys this week

It’s nice to have a bit more peace in the house. Everyone is healthy again, not coughs and snotty noses anymore. Things are going much better between Marc, me and the kids, also thanks to better communication. We can enjoy our lives again!
So, what are the things we’ve been enjoying in the past week:
- Mika had his first fruit- and veggie bites. He likes the taste of most things, but gets tired of the spoon. After 10-15 bites he gets cranky about that spoon being pushed into his mouth. Fortunately he still gets his bottles too. He’ll get used to it soon enough.
- Lara is becoming a real artist; we give her big pieces of empty white paper and with her Nijntje/Miffy felt pens she turns it into colourful artworks. So far she’s made art for our sick neighbour, my mother, her friend Lizzy and one for me. This weekend we will visit some friends and we have a birthday party at a neighbour-girlfriend who turns 4; so two more occasions to surprise with some home made art!
- I finally succeeded in making some gooooood muffins. I know now that leaving out the baking soda is NOT an option… 
- Today we will get our new second hand car; a VW station… Oh how lovely it will be to have more space for groceries, strollers and other junk we like to drive around…
- Mika is slowly learning to sleep through the night. He does wake up every now and then, but often gets back to sleep by himself. Way to go, boy!
- Lara is more and more making up songs and dances; so cute to hear her hum and see her move around…
All in all, it’s been a good week for our little family!

Home made

So, I made my first official homemade baby food again. It’s carrots and applesauce for Mika the coming days. I just gave him some of the carrots and it was a hit; he started squirming if I didn’t give him another spoon soon enough…
Everyone is free to do what he wants, but I don’t like this store bought babyfood. It tastes like nothing and costs 10 times as much as home made food. I’m sure it is healthy enough. They say it doesn’t have preservatives in it or any other stuff to make it taste or look better (can anyone tell me then why the carrots from this store bought food make such worse stains on my baby’s clothes?!).
But anyway, I am a home cooking mom. And from today my second child will have a fresh meal every day, made with love and care.
Since I made a whole batch of carrots and applesauce I freeze it in ice cubes. That way I can take the right portion every day and even mix and match if I or my baby want it to. Because cauliflower without applesauce is not an option… 

Peptalk

….and Mika slept through the night! Yahooo! Maybe it’s coincidence, but I like to believe it’s been my peptalk to him last night. I told him that drinking his bottle and sleeping well is helping him grow and making the coughs go away. And that while it’s dark he should sleep. If he’d wake up and it’s still dark he should just close his eyes again and go back to sleep. I told him he shouldn’t be afraid, since he’s never really alone; Jesus is always near and so are his little cuddles (he has two of the thingies from the picture and likes to keep them near to his face). If he’s lost one of his cuddles, he can call for mommy. But otherwise he can just grab his cuddle and go back to sleep. He looked at me with his big eyes, like in the picture I posted recently and obviously he understood and did what I told him. Hopefully this wasn’t a one night thing…

Update

Thank God (literally) things are settling down a bit over here. Marc has better medicines and is already doing much better. He is more interested in our family again and more at ease with Mika. I also talked about this all with my mom; she sees the problem and promised to drop in a bit more often during my work times to help out Marc.

Mika has been quite sick this past weekend, but is doing much better as well. The poor boy had a fever and was coughing his lungs out. He had a hard time drinking enough, because of the coughing. But he’s getting better by the day, so I hope we can start working on his schedule soon. Those broken nights are really getting me down. And most children his age sleep through the night without a feeding; he does not really need it and should be able to get back to sleep by himself if he wakes up during the night. I still don’t have a very good idea about how to get him on a better schedule, so if anyone can give me the perfect tip… You’ll be my hero forever!

Pretty kiddies

Survival mode

I’m in survival mode. Last week Marc and Lara were sick (flu-kinda symptoms), yesterday Mika started to cough and was feverish. Result; this past week I couldn’t sleep more than 2 hours without having to get up to help one of the kids. It’s kind of a miracle that I’m still standing, without fever, coughs and so on.
Besides that Marc told me during one of those sleep-deprived nights that he has a really hard time with Mika’s crying. Mika isn’t crying a lot, but seems to cry more often en more intense when he’s alone with Marc. I guess it has something to do with Marc’s own mental instability; the little kid feels that his daddy isn’t feeling well and reacts on it. His feeding and day/nighttime schedule is a mess too; we have to change that. But Marc doesn’t seem to be up to doing that on his own and I can’t do much since I’m working most of the time.
I was already frustrated with having to work, while I want to be at home. But with my sick babies and a husband showing post partum depression-signs I’m feeling even more negative about the situation.

Anyway, I have lots of thinking to do to figure this out. Just wanted to write it down to make a start at sorting my thoughts…